Bad Girl Chats
Have coffee and donuts with Sylvia & Nicole Hollander
Want a cool demise? Request in a comment.
No doubt I will be found on the floor, apron covered in paint, gripping a brush, three weeks after I die. The house will be dusty. I imagine a sink full of dirty dishes will figure in there somewhere! If Chopin is on an endless loop it will still be playing…actually. Otherwise, the end is static.
I’ll have collapsed next to the dog’s bowl. I suffered a heart attack bending over to put her chow into the dish. She’ll be sniffing gently at my corpse between bites.
I’ve said for a long time that my tombstone will say, “She died tripping over a dog.” I probably will be trying to pick up my husband’s dirty dishes from lunch that have been sitting out for the last four hours or so, with runny egg yolk permanently crusted onto the plate. The paramedics will wonder why I was such a slob. The lab will be sure that the paramedics came for the sole purpose of throwing his ball.
I always planned to die by tripping over the cat and falling down the stairs but my cat died first. Now what?
get another cat. Better yet, get 2. Then it’s a given you WILL trip over a cat.
One better not make a deal with the Devil. unless you want to go below
after you die.
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